Happy Thanksgiving!

...you can see forever

when the vision is clear

in this moment

each moment

I give thanks

-Harriet Kofalk

Scar Project

I'm thinking about flying to New York...

http://www.thescarproject.org/index.html

Updates on the Cancer Front...

1. I spontatneously realized a few weeks ago that I'm no longer having hot flashes.
2. I took down all the cards and prayers from our kitchen window (that have been up for almost a year now). It was bittersweet to re-read everyone's thoughts, but it feels really refreshing to see through my windows again!
3. I've stopped obsessively listening to Natalie Merchant, whose music has pretty much been my breast cancer anthem for the last year.
4. I'm in the process of shopping around for a new plastic surgeon who is more interested in my breasts than in her outfits (and has excellent tattooing skills). I should have done this a long time ago.
5. Blue Cross / Blue Shield rejected my second appeal for Arimidex. It's more irritating than stressful--Garrett has given me enough samples for six months. Next step is to file for an independent medical review.
6. My dentist's hygentist's sister usurped my position as the youngest member of BAYS (Bay Area Young Survivors). She's 26.

Crazy, Sexy Curls

These are for you mom...

Juror ID# 799718

Today I’m feeling connected to life, and it has nothing to do with cancer. I watched a man have a heart attack (I’m assuming) not more than 6 feet in front of me. Watched him, for what seemed like eternity, fight to hold on, to merely breathe. I sat, with my hand over my heart, mesmerized. A woman sitting at one of the computer stations almost directly across from me seemed to mirror my reaction. There we sat, watching, frozen.

As he hit the floor, half a dozen people shouted, “Call 911!” Someone else called for any doctors or nurses who were in the room. Two came forward, along with an EMT, and they started doing chest compressions and CPR. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6…. This seemed to go on forever and for a period of time the man did not have pulse. His juror id badge identified him as Jordon. “Breathe, Jordon!” the EMT kept saying. Finally, they shocked him with these stickers they put on his chest. His pulse returned.

Eventually the ambulance team arrived and they cut off his shirts, continuing to try and stabilize him. At this point the man was surrounded by medical people and I could no longer see. I heard some horrible noises. It had to have been at least another 15 minutes before they finally put him on the gurney and wheeled him out. All the while, the woman was running the jury service tape in that we were supposed to be watching.

Welcome to jury service.